


The Night We Met

by Longtitlebyfob



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x18 coda, Angst, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Coda, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Destiel - Freeform, Fix-It, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Prayer, Sacrifice, Sort Of, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:01:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27415408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Longtitlebyfob/pseuds/Longtitlebyfob
Summary: Dean really did love Cas
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 95





	The Night We Met

Cas was gone. No blood, no gore, no painful death, just gone. Dean swore it was raining with the amount of tears that came running down. He didn't wipe them away he didn't to except the fact that Cas was gone again. It was going be harder to except that this time Cas wasn't coming back. The sheer thought of it made the world heavy. He rested his head against the brick wall Cas had thrown him toward. Dean was angered, sad, and frustrated _why did Cas sacrifice himself for me?_ He knew why. Cas had said it, and he said it clearly. 

Dean placed his hands together. He was going to pray. As if praying would make a difference _._ He didn't say _I love you_ back. It was to late. Dean threw his head down and closed his eyes. The tears where staining his sweater, but no matter how much he wanted to he couldn't stop. He couldn't stop the Empty, he couldn't stop Billie, couldn't stop the world from spinning not even for a second. Dean took a deep breathe.

"Cas, I know you ~~can't~~ won't hear me. I know it seems dumb to pray to you because- because you're gone. But the empty came to soon. I didn't have the chance," He stopped and let out a sobbed cry, "I didn't have a chance to say it back. I love you too." Dean finished. He wanted to continue, tell Cas about all the things he never got to say. All he wanted was Cas right now. He wanted a really long hug from Cas. 

_Why should I be the one to live? I can't save the world._ He never got out of the position he was in, he wanted to keep praying on the off chance that Cas could hear him. It was a stretch but it felt like a new comfort. It felt as if Cas had never left. Maybe when Dean opened his eyes he'd find that it was all just a horrible dream. Although he couldn't get his eyes to open out of fear that it wasn't a dream, that all of this was real. 

"I really want you here," There was another long pause, "With me. You don't know how happy those three words made me feel Cas. but I really wish it were under certain circumstances. Maybe like at the beach, while Sam and Jack are off getting us all ice cream or while we're watching old movies together, but it's to late for any of that crap now."

"You ass-butt! You should've told me earlier," He could here himself sobbing again, "Maybe then we could've held hands on the way to hunt on starry nights, or maybe I would've had the chance to feel you next to me, to kiss you, _ugh_ I would die just to have kissed you once." Dean stopped again. The amount of times he dreamed of being able to kiss Cas freely, He never could come to terms with who he was. His father would have beat him senseless if he knew that his son was in love with a man. His old man is dead but the trauma still remains. _Sam's right, ignoring it doesn't make it go away._

Dean felt himself calming down as he sighed and continued, " 'M sorry Cas, it's not your fault. I just really wish you knew that the feeling,- all of these feeling, they were real and mutual. Back in the barn, When I first laid eyes on you, I knew there would be a problem there. I shouldn't even call it a problem... My feelings toward you- I was ashamed of them, because I wasn't suppose to like guys, but you? I couldn't stop the feeling with you. No matter how many women I got with. The feelings for you came back and I was starting to learn how to live with them. I shouldn't have just lived with them though, I should have excepted them. I should've told you a long time ago. I am so sorry Cas." 

_I want to go back to the night we met. The good days. The days I had all of you._ Deans thoughts where running wild. He excepted himself. A burden felt like it was lifted from his shoulders. He thought of all the good moments him and Cas shared. All the fights that felt so useless and stupid now. Cas' eyes, Castiel's beautiful eyes that he could stare at for hours with out end. He wants Cas back. Maybe that is selfish of him, but he got no time to actually hold Cas. Cas left being happy. His smile was so wide it made the room have life. How could he ever forget this, the love of his life is gone and he is still here.

Dean hears his phone ring again and he finally lets himself open his eye. He is still in that damn room. Nothing had changed. His hands let go in order to reach out for the phone again. It was Sam. What was he going tell him? What was he going to tell Jack? Jack would be devastated, he's already going through so much. Now Dean is the one who has to trouble him with this news.

He let the phone ring for a little more before clearing his throat and answered, "Hey." 

Sam didn't question anything. Maybe he pulled off sounding okay better than he thought. Or Sam was to sad as well to care, "I need you to come to the safe house now." That was it, Sam hung up and Dean forced himself to finally get up it had gotten dark outside. Dean had probably been sitting there for more than two hours. He walks over to the bunkers bathroom to splash some water in his face. The breeze felt sharp against his skin. He looked in mirror and saw the jacket. There it was. The handprint. Dean didn't take it off. it reminded him of Cas, and he wanted Cas close to him.

Dean didn't want to have none of Cas left. 


End file.
